"Life is so fragile and unpredictable"- Week 7 (last post of 2014)

It hit me last night when I was immersed in a room of my new family, some of the best and nicest people I have ever met, that Fight to End Cancer 2015 is just over FIVE MONTHS AWAY. What?
For some reason, when I started training, seven months sounded like an eternity and it hadn't quite and still hasn't fully hit me that I will be stepping into a boxing ring and opening myself up to being hit in the face. I won't literally be opening myself up because my face will be covered of course, but you know what I mean.
Five months away? If those days and weeks go by as fast as the first two months did...this fight will be here in no time. AHH

I walked around the Kingsway Boxing Christmas Party last night and chatted with all the familiar faces I see at the gym every day. It was amazing and I could not feel more fortunate to 1. have met this incredible group of people in the first place (thanks Kelly) and 2. to be in the position that so much advice and support was offered to me for this crazy journey that I have only dipped my toes into. The New Year is just around the corner and I am ready to fully dive head first into the intense training- both physically and mentally. I am mostly excited and slightly nervous to see what 2015 has in store for me. I know it's going to be good.

Photo (L to R): Jennifer Huggins, Kelly Dickinson and Me

So, let me talk about my last week of training (in actual classes at the gym) of 2014. Yet again, it was a tough one. This week was FULL of tears. I don't know if boxing has somehow made me a really emotional person or if recently I have just been put in, or heard about really sad situations, but regardless, the tears were flowing (I swear, I'm not usually a crier- right, Mum?).

I'll break it down:

Gym
The workouts were exhausting and I had my first "injury". I was going into the conditioning class after an already long Tuesday night technical class with Jenn and in the middle of one of my burpees, I felt a tweak in my neck that shot down my shoulder and back. I immediately stopped and told Jenn, who instructed me to step out of the workout, got me some ice and made me sit there while everyone continued on. This is torture to me and reminds me of any time I've had to sit on the bench for soccer and how badly I want to be back in the game, but I knew this was for the best. She told me to go home and to take a rest for a few days. This was a learning moment for me- in my head I was thinking "Ya, that's not happening- I'm waking up for a run in the morning" but quickly decided to oblige solely based on how adamant she was. I can honestly admit that I'm not one that listens to my body as much as I should. I have this fear that I'm going to miss out on something and try to speed up recovery time whenever I have any kind of injury. I know this is not going to fly with Jenn and Virgil and in the sport of boxing as a whole.
I took a break on Wednesday and was back at the gym on Thursday (I swear my neck felt perfect). This night in particular, Virgil saw the tears welling up in my eyes because I couldn't get my footing right. I just could NOT get it and my brain was working in overdrive trying to focus on not getting hit in the face, throwing the right punch and making sure the way my feet were moving was proper (especially because I could see Virgil's eye fixed on them for an entire sparring round). I yelled at him to stop staring at me and continued on in my frustrated state where nothing got accomplished because I was then just focused on how frustrated I was. It was a vicious cycle! I held in my tears... until I got to my car. :)

Side note- I got cleared medically to actually fight! Time to start shopping for a pink headgear- just kidding (kind of)!

Work
This week I put on an event at the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre to bring some holiday cheer and joy into the lives of our youngest patients. The Children's Holiday Party is a time for children who are being treated at The Princess Margaret or whose parents or guardians are treated there to gather together, make some crafts, decorate cookies, get some tattoos or their face painted and receive a special gift from Santa. This event is one that I am so grateful to have in my portfolio. It's so nice to chat with the parents and play with the children and it's one of those moments that you stop to recognize and really put your life into perspective. The little things that I wake up in the morning and think are a big deal, ARE NOT. These children and their families exude hope and for two hours, I get to watch these amazing children run around, with the biggest smiles on their faces and I experience what true strength really looks like. Life is so so precious.
I went back to the office and here we go again... tears.

Personal
I'm not going to get into the full details of this one, but trust me when I say, it's been a hard week filled with many emotions on a personal level.

BUT, with everything that has happened this week and over the past couple of months, I have learned to be so grateful for everything that I have. I have my health, the absolute best family and friends, a NEW amazing boxing family and a job where I work every day to conquer cancer in our lifetime. Take the time to think about everything that YOU are grateful for and remember these things as you move through your day to day life.

At this time of year especially, hug your loved ones and let them know how much they mean to you! Life is so fragile and unpredictable.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, I wish you all the very best as you surround yourself with family and friends!

Love you all and thanks again for your support. See you in the New Year!

xo Paige

"Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy." - Week 6

I am a worrier. There, I said it. If I try to give someone a call or send them a text and expect to hear something back from them and do not, I panic. I get myself into a crazy headspace and instantly think the absolute worst, trick my brain into believing it's true and stalk this person in every possible way I can think of to try and figure out where they are. I know where this stems from and I am aware of it, however it's something that I have not been able to change no matter how hard I try. I apologize to any of the poor individuals that have been on the end of one of my worrying fits (you know who you are) and I swear, I'm not really a stalker. I'm working on this!

This brings me to my next point. When I am given a piece of information or advice, good or bad- I usually take the time to fully think about it, let it sink in, process the information and then decide how I feel about it. In most cases- I (of course) worry. I take things personally when they're not to be taken that way at all and I try and figure out a way to fix it. I worry about my family and friends and I always want to be there to help fix a problem they might have or help out in any way I can. So, you can imagine how difficult it might be to "fix" a cancer diagnosis given to someone so close to me who I love so much. This week, I had to face this head on. I was given the news, took some time to process it and felt a wide range of emotions. I sat in my bed for a good hour before I decided to pick up the phone and give this woman a call. The woman on the other end of the phone seemed so put together and hopeful and amazing! I am sure she is nervous and worried but I didn't hear it in her voice. She told me not to worry  about her (which we now know is an inevitable emotion I am 100% going to feel) and she also told me to FIGHT for her and punch someone in the face FOR HER. That's it! That is how I am going to help! I can't physically help with the treatment and I'm not a researcher who can find a cure BUT I am a boxer, who was given this amazing opportunity to FIGHT TO END CANCER. I am fighting for YOU.

I became more motivated than ever and couldn't wait to get to the gym on Monday night to work on everything I have learned so far. I felt so focused and determined to figure out my strengths and weaknesses and I did just that. I can easily point out what it is I need to work on and what I can improve on to make my strong points even stronger. I can't tell you exactly what those are in case my opponent is reading this (Hi Erica)! :)

I let myself feel frustration and annoyance and almost had myself in tears at points of this class because it was bothering me that I couldn't break a bad habit or figure out how to do certain things that I so desperately wanted to be able to do. However, leaving the gym on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday this week, (my body doesn't like me today) I felt rejuvenated and overwhelmed by the support I was receiving from almost everyone at the gym who could see how frustrated I was getting during a specific sparring exercise built around letting us know with a "gentle" tap, when we would be open and getting punched in the face in a real fight (not my finest moment). But, I can't worry about one class and I have to focus on how I am going to improve and be better. This is a process and I am only in the beginning stages. I have lots to learn!

"Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy." I MUST remember this!

I am not naive to the fact that there are many scary things that people hear everyday and worrying about them is a natural emotion. But, for me, taking note and now admitting to the world that my worrying is "next level" crazy, is my first step to taking a deep breath and realizing that I am only hurting myself and possibly missing out on the beauty of life while I am having nervous breakdowns when I can't get ahold of someone.

So, to my loved one (who shall remain nameless) and anyone that is fighting cancer or any kind of illness- I am fighting for you. Your strength and positive outlook will be a key to your recovery and I honestly am NOT worried. Everything is going to be okay and this will be something we all look back on down the road and smile for everything it will teach us. I will punch harder and faster and move out of the way of the incoming punches quicker, with you in mind.

To my boxing family, thank you for keeping me going and for always being there to offer me support, tips and tricks that I greatly appreciate! Special shout out to Megan who I am obsessed with seeing at the gym. This little girl is such a precious, sweet child who I instantly feel happy seeing. A child's innocence and carefree attitude is so refreshing to see and a reminder to be like that.

PLEASE keep my loved one in your thoughts and prayers- especially in the upcoming weeks AND if you want to think of a way that you can help, please support me in this literal fight and anyone you know who has their own fight to win by clicking here.

Love you all!

Paige

"You look like you're a fighter, I don't want to piss you off!" - Week 5

Jennifer is back at the gym after being gone for almost 2 weeks! It was so nice to see her and have her back in usual form (tough). Jennifer was in Korea refereeing at the Women's World Boxing Championship and came back expecting professionalism from everyone.  We all did our best to comply and work our butts off to impress! We started off with 5 rounds of shadow boxing and then focused on bag work for the remainder of the class. Once again, I am amazed at how much there is to learn and remember about boxing. Jennifer was adamant and slightly aggressive in ensuring that every time I throw a punch,  my chin is tucked down into my shoulder. This is a tip/technique that I had never known about and it has changed everything! Focusing on bringing your shoulder up to protect your face kind of feels like you're punching yourself in the face with your shoulder and when I mentioned this to Jennifer, she reminded me that this will be a lot less painful than my opponent's fist to my jaw. This is true. It was also pointed out that I need to put more weight on my back leg when throwing any punches. These are two new and valuable learnings that I am going to remember from here on out. They will only make me a better boxer!

When I got home from the gym that night (Tuesday), I had a "package pick up slip" in my mailbox and I raced to my concierge. My gloves had arrived!!!! I ran upstairs to give Sydney (my roommate) a first look and showed her some of my punches and the new techniques I learned that night- all while wearing my new gloves of course. Sydney also helped me roll up my hand wraps the night before. They had a few wrinkles in them when she was done but it'll take some practice to get the roll up perfect. Thanks, Sydney! :)

Thursday couldn't come soon enough as I was TOO excited to get to the gym and throw on my new gloves and see how they felt. Let me tell you, they felt AMAZING and I think they looked pretty good too! Virgil had us do some circuit training from shadow boxing, to the punching bag, to the head movement bag, to the double end bag and then into the ring to fight against Sean! Betty Ann and I partnered up and made our way through the circuit. When we got into the ring, we were only allowed to use our jabs but we could punch Sean anywhere, while Sean was able to defend himself and throw any punch back but only allowed to hit us in the stomach. It was such a tiring few rounds but I felt good about how I did! (See pictures below)

My favourite part of my Thursday night was when I left the gym and was on my way to my soccer game in Burlington. I stopped at Tim Hortons to get myself a bottle of water. When I got to the window I had my new gloves sitting on my passenger seat and I handed a gift card to the cashier to pay for the water. He let me know that I still owed 48 cents. I repeated back "I owe you 48 cents?" as I thought I had more money on my card. He glanced into my car, noticed my new boxing gloves and said "Actually, don't worry about it! You look like you're a fighter, I don't want to piss you off!" I laughed and thanked him. This was such a great moment for me and it was such an overwhelming feeling. It's crazy how such a small comment can really make someone's day! Thanks, Tim Hortons' guy!

This was another amazing week at the gym! I just can't get enough!

If you'd like to support me with a donation, you can visit my personal page here: http://pmhf3.akaraisin.com/pledge/Participant/Home.aspx?seid=9717&mid=9&pid=2005385

Thanks in advance!

PS: Yes, my new gloves are PINK!

One Month Down- Week 4

I cannot believe how quickly November has gone by and that I've been at this whole boxing thing for an entire month! I honestly already feel like this has been such an amazing experience for me and I have learned SO much already.

Over the course of the last month, I have been overwhelmed with the most amazing reactions from anyone and everyone from "I can't believe you're doing this" to "what if you break your nose?". I feel so blessed and happy that anyone is even reading my blog, let alone giving me their feedback and letting me know that I fully have their support and constant encouragement. It makes me feel AMAZING! Thanks everyone!

This past week has been another good one. I wasn't able to make the regular Tuesday night technical class so I went to the conditioning class on Monday night. I don't know if it was because it was a Monday, but this class seemed tougher than any other class thus far. I felt SO sick and nauseous almost the entire time- but I sucked it up. On Thursday I got to practice my defending a bit more and I felt MUCH more comfortable in everything I was doing. It's an encouraging thought that I am improving every time I walk into the gym but I know these next 6 months are going to be intense and a lot of hard work will be involved. I'm up for the challenge!

I can't wait to see what December has in store for me!

Side note: I ordered my FIRST and OWN pair of boxing gloves this past week and according to my tracking number with UPS, they will be arriving at my condo TOMORROW! Stay tuned for pictures in my next blog. I hope they're as pretty as they look in the pictures on the website :)

"I'm a fighter now! I don't cry!"- Week 3

Week three came with more learnings and a "near tears" experience. This has been a busy week moving things back and forth to my new condo and ramping up for a big move this weekend, but I was able to make it to the gym a couple of times and I'm glad I did!

On Tuesday, I got to get in the ring again and go one-on-one with the more advanced boxers. I was on offence as I haven't been cleared to officially fight by the doctor yet, so I am only allowed to punch people (gently) and they can't hit back without warning. It's always nice to get into the ring and see what an actual fight is going to feel like and put everything I've learned to the test. At one point, we got to throw our close punches (uppercuts and hooks) and our opponents were able to hit us back. The first time I got punched in the stomach (thanks, Al) I was stunned for .5 seconds and then realized I was ok!! (YAY!) I stayed for the conditioning class that followed the technical one and couldn't walk properly for the next few days. It was also difficult to wash my hair every morning this week because my shoulders were completely ruined!

Thursday came too soon after that intense workout, but luckily it was less conditioning and more focus on the 'basics of boxing'. Virgil had a group of us stay out of the ring and in front of the mirrors to go over defending in detail. With every move or punch we learn, I memorize everything that my teacher is saying. I also learned that this is NOT the best thing to do in boxing. Boxing is a sport that, once you're in the ring, an instruction manual as to what you're supposed to do in an exact circumstance would be impossible to write. I learned this the hard way when I could not understand why, when we were paired up to implement what we were just taught- no one was defending my punch the "proper" way. I immediately called Virgil over who tried to explain that boxing isn't exactly 'by the book' and when you're in the ring and a punch is coming your way, you aren't going to be thinking about which way you SHOULD turn and how your foot SHOULD be twisting.
This was frustrating to me and made me feel really anxious and worried that I was NEVER going to get it. I felt the tears coming (this is my natural reaction) but I held them back. I'm a fighter now! I don't cry! At least not yet....

This week has made me realize how physically and mentally demanding the sport of boxing is. I can't wait to dive into everything there is to learn about it and challenge myself in ways that I have never been challenged before!

Please support me in my journey: http://pmhf3.akaraisin.com/2015fighttoendcancer/paigecunningham

Thanks for reading!

"this fight to end cancer is real"- Week 2

Week two was filled with some sad and shocking cancer related news. An old friend, someone that I have so many amazing memories of and with, is fighting cancer that has spread throughout her body. My mum called to give me this news on Friday morning and though I knew this lady had cancer, I couldn't help but feel shocked and so thrown off on my way to work that morning and for the rest of the day. This individual is someone I looked up to as a child and in my early soccer years. She was a huge influence on my childhood (I hope she knows that) and the thought of her fighting against this terrible disease makes me feel both sad and angry! How does cancer choose who it is going to affect? It's just not fair. I know how strong of a person this woman is and I am 100% confident in her ability and will to fight this!

When I got home from work that evening, I then received some more shocking news that a new friend of mine had recently been diagnosed with cancer. He reached out to me initially that day to let me know that he read my blog and was asking me about my training schedule... When I asked him how things were with him- I was completely blindsided with this news. However, his positivity and strength really struck a chord with me and put everything into perspective. THIS is why I am fighting. I am so grateful for both of these individuals in my life and they made me realize even more-so than ever that this fight to end cancer is real. We need to work together and get this under control because I don't know how much more of it anyone can take!

I am fighting for my friends and I am fighting for anyone that has ever been or will ever be affected by this HORRENDOUS illness.

My week of actual boxing was a good one! I trained two nights this week at Kingsway Boxing and I learned a lot. I think I have most of the punches in order but I was starting to get concerned about how to defend against a punch. Anytime we are told to shadow box and add the defence in, I immediately feel awkward because I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I know it seems fairly sensible to simply duck out of the way of something coming flying at your face, but there is much more to it and when my busy brain gets thinking, I just get more and more confused!

On Tuesday evening, Jennifer focused on defending using two more terms that I had never heard before. Most people in the class are veterans to the boxing world so they knew exactly what they were doing when they heard the words "parry" and "trap" - while I stood there like a deer in headlights having no clue what Jenn was talking about!
I got a quick lesson and was thrown into it with my new favourite partner, Betty Ann! Betty Ann was one of the first ladies I met at Kingsway Boxing and is the sweetest woman! Even though we're not allowed to talk to each other as we practice our skills, Betty Ann sometimes whispers some tricks to me and lets me know different ways I can improve my technique. This is MUCH appreciated (especially because it kills me to have to be quiet for 3 minutes at a time). She's great to work with and once I felt comfortable with the simple flicks of my wrists to defend straight punches, it actually started to feel natural as we threw gentle punches at each other. I even kept my eyes staring directly at Betty Ann's neck area (lesson from last week), this allows you to peripherally watch your opponent's shoulders and anticipate what punch they are going to throw next.

On Thursday, Virgil gave us a lesson on how to step on your opponent's foot...hehe just kidding. This was actually what we were doing but it was an exercise to work on our footwork and understand how to cut off your opponent in the ring. I was paired up with my new friend Steven and I found myself getting really competitive in a 'child playing tag' kind of way. We did this over and over and over again in 3 minute rounds with crunches in between. Virgil was torturing us and wouldn't let us get water EVEN when I asked very politely. I survived though. The ball of my foot however, has a lovely blister on it from constantly being on my toes.

Both nights were tough workouts and I feel my confidence and skills are always improving!

It is still surreal to me that I am doing this and actually stepping into the ring. I can feel the love and support from all of my family, friends and colleagues and I feel so blessed that I was given this opportunity.

If you can and if you would like, I have included the link to my personal fundraising page where I will be collecting donations for cancer research. Every nickel, dime and quarter counts!
Thank you for joining me on this journey!
http://pmhf3.akaraisin.com/pledge/Participant/Home.aspx?seid=9717&mid=9&pid=2005385

Talk to you next week!

The Beginning- Week 1

It all started in May 2014 when my colleague Kelly, invited me as a guest to one of her events, Fight to End Cancer. As Special Events Coordinators at The Princess Margaret, we are invited, volunteer and partake in many events that are run by our third party organizers. Kel assured me that this one was different- the dresses, the suits, the energy and most importantly, the fights. We wouldn't be attending just any gala, we would be watching multiple boxing matches at a gorgeous venue, wearing pretty dresses and eating a delicious meal. I was intrigued.

On the night of the event, we showed up at The Old Mill in Toronto looking our very best, (at least we thought so) and mingled with past fighters, the 2014 fight team (looking glamorous in their gowns and tuxes), committee members, volunteers, family and friends. Kelly introduced me to everyone she knew and we eventually found our seats. Videos began to play on the large screens and the fighters were introduced one by one to the audience. They shared their stories and explained exactly why they were doing what they were doing. The fighters came out at different times and competed in their 'bouts' (I just learned this word a few days ago, definition from Merriam Webster dictionary: a wrestling or boxing contest) and I became so wrapped up in the atmosphere. We were screaming and cheering on the fighters and Kelly and I were even placing "friendly" bets to win coffee. I think I won almost every time! ;)

I found myself sitting at my table thinking, " I want to fight!" - and that was the start of it all...

Fast forward to November 2014 and here I am, embarking on an almost 7 month journey as a lucky member of the 2015 fight team. On May 30, 2015, I will be in that boxing ring, surrounded by family and friends, facing my opponent. This thought both TERRIFIES and EXCITES me.

The training has begun (I am one week in) and I can actually already tell that I am improving (obviously not a lot, but I'm trying not to overthink things). I came into day one having no clue what I was doing - other than the occasional body combat class at a nearby Goodlife, throwing a punch was completely foreign to me and after four (long) classes, I feel like I'm a pro (just kidding Jenn and Virgil, I know I have a lot of work to do)!

Jennifer and Virgil have been the two amazing souls who have been teaching all the newbies the ins and outs of boxing. From the moment I stepped into the gym, I felt like I was part of something so much bigger than just a group of people boxing together- I feel like this is my new family and after every workout, I'm excited to come back for the next. I am sure I may not feel this way after every day at the gym as I have been warned that I will experience the best of the best days and the worst of the worst, but i'm sending positive vibes out to the Universe that I don't have any or too many bad days (wishful thinking).

Week One went better than I could have imagined. I purchased a mouth guard and wraps for my wrists that I think make anyone look tough, learned the boxing basics and I even got into the ring and punched people. I was nicely tapping people because I didn't want to hurt anyone and once I got the go ahead from Jennifer that I could actually punch them, I had the best time! (see photos below captured by Jennifer) I might have been a little too happy.

Things I need to remember:
1. Don't look your opponent in the eye OR where you are going to hit them (they will catch on)
2. Don't talk to your opponent (this is hard for me)
3. Always protect your face with your other hand when you are punching, otherwise you will just get punched on the side that is unprotected AND hold your hand in the proper spot or Virgil will come by you and aggressively hit your own hand into your face.
4. If you're right handed, your right hand should be by your face like you're talking on the phone (got that one covered) and your left hand should be slightly in front of your face like you're looking through a telescope (never done that before)
5. Your boxing stance is VERY important because if you are ever off balance when you're punching, then you're out of luck and definitely going to get punched and you'll probably fall.

That's all I can really think of for now and I am sure as my boxing techniques and language become more advanced, so will my blog posts.

I can't wait to see what next week brings! Stay tuned for week 2 updates in my FIGHT TO END CANCER.