"So, to wrap it up and make a long story short, I had the best and worst week." Week 18

"Life's not about how hard of a hit you can give...it's about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward." - Rocky

Thanks, Rocky for the words of encouragement. I needed them this week...not figuratively about life, but about literal, hard punches....
I showed up to the gym this week ready to gradually get back into the workouts post back injury. I could tell I was favouring my back a little bit through some of the exercises and despite feeling good, I didn't allow myself to stay for the second class of the night on Tuesday. I didn't want to push it (another major growth moment for me). I left that evening with my head held high. "Yes! I'm back" is what I thought to myself or maybe said out loud.

I then arrived at the gym on Thursday. I felt "off", not just at Kingsway, but throughout my entire day. My focus wasn't there and it was just one of those days when I could have just laid in bed under the covers and not speak to a single person for hours (am I the only one that has these days?).
Anyways, I obviously had to be a big girl and go to work and then race to the gym and soccer after....on Thursdays, I have no time to rest.
The traffic was terrible getting to the gym that evening (of course) and I arrived late. I did a quick round of skipping and jumped right into the ring. I immediately knew this was not going to end well. Mentally, at least for me, I can sense how I am going to perform, in anything that I do. I was right.

I was sparring against Shireen (a tough opponent) and I couldn't get my footwork down.. she was hitting me, A LOT and I swear I blinked and had a shot coming straight for my right cheek making full contact and sending my neck back, feeling intense whiplash. I stopped, turned around and burst into tears. It was a shock, it hurt and because of the emotional state I had been in that day, I kind of took that punch personally. Every one continued sparring around me and I felt like I was a little child standing in a 'time-out' in the corner of the ring. I thought to myself "why is no one coming to see how I'm doing?" and then I realized that Virgil was standing there, staring at me, letting me be, to see exactly what I would do next.... I walked back over to Shireen and with tears still streaming down my face, I continued fighting. I fully took advantage of our 2 minute water break and had a great cry in the bathroom, wiped away my tears, put my gloves back on and waited to be matched up against my next opponent. I felt proud of myself for this and slightly embarrassed but whatever, people cry so we can get over it, right? I think had I decided to stop fighting, then and there, I would have been terrified to step back into the ring at a later date.

Which brings me to Saturday...with conditioning class complete, I was waiting for the FTEC class to start at 10:30am. T.J told us to get our head gear, mouth guard and gloves on. I was definitely still scared but I suited up and my mental game was ON. I actually had a pep talk with myself prior to stepping into the ring and I've never felt better. I was defending, moving, landing punches and was able to absorb and put all the coaches suggestions into action. It was amazing! For the first time, everything felt natural to me. I no longer thought about every combination I was going to throw or which way I should slip to get out of the way of what punch might come next... I just knew, right then in the moment, what I was supposed to do. WHAT A REVELATION!

So, to wrap it up and make a long story short, I had the best and worst week. Now I know how it feels to have intense mood swings!

PS I received so many amazing donations this week to bring my fundraising total to over $4700! I am just over $1000 short of my goal! Thank you to everyone who donated! If you would like to help me fight to end cancer, please visit www.fighttoendcancer.ca .

PPS Our photoshoot pics were finally released this week and I LOVE them. If you haven't seen them, I added them below!

Love you all! :)

'The straw that broke the camel's back'- Week 17

"I like to call moments like this, personal growth" was a text I received from Virgil this week. I was explaining to him that after I injured my back doing a burpee in his class last weekend, that I would not be coming back to train until I felt 100%.

*Side note: If my weak ankles are any indication of the rest time I usually allow myself before I get back on the soccer field after I sprain or fracture them, it's evident that I rarely listen to my body.

Rewind to last Saturday morning when I stood up from one of the hundreds of burpees it felt like we did during an early morning cardio class. I jumped down into push up position and when I popped back up to stand, something happened. I couldn't stand up straight and there was no way I could continue class. I have never had any issues with my back so this was a new feeling and injury for me. I felt panicked (especially because I watched Million Dollar Baby the night before...depressing) and immediately felt stressed that this was the worst thing to happen and there's no way I can miss a training class or any of my daily workouts. My first thought was - I'm just going to have to work through the pain.

No, no, no. Wrong.

Fast forward to today- I haven't done any sort of physical activity since I hurt my back and it's the best thing I could have done. I have very little pain now, unless I am sitting for too long in a weird position but compared to how I was feeling earlier in the week, I feel like a million bucks!

I saw a chiropractor suggested to me by Jenn and Virgil and it made all the difference. She immediately let me know that my joint in my back lost function when I did that burpee. It wasn't necessarily that one burpee that did it but it acted as 'the straw that broke the camel's back' (see what I did there).  She gave me the real doctor term called "acute sacroiliac joint dysfunction" and also gave me some advice as to how I can prevent this from happening again with some stretches and changing the way I sleep. Any stomach sleepers out there... you need to sleep on your back or side (I don't know how that's comfortable but I'm trying really hard).

I am feeling strong both physically and mentally and I should be back at the gym this week! I feel rejuvenated and I CAN'T WAIT to get in the ring!

Like I've said before, this sport is SO mental. I'd like to think that the way I've been training my brain through this entire process has taught me how to really listen to my body. I would much rather sit out for a good chunk of time, then to come back prematurely and hurt myself further and be worse off than the initial injury.

Yay for learning and maturing! :) Go me!

Don't worry, Erica- I'll see you soon! :)

"You can ACTUALLY do anything you set your mind to!"- Week 15 & 16

With just under 3 months to go, the Fight to End Cancer continues to creep up on me. Certain things are starting to matter less to me, while others I can't keep out of my mind. It's crazy how my priorities have completely shifted and my whole world is revolved around this fight. I eat, sleep, (work) and box- with very little time for anything else and I can honestly say, I wouldn't have it any other way. Being part of this experience is important to me. It has given me an outlet to express myself both physically and mentally. I can be my complete and authentic self when I walk through the gym doors and I have no doubt that I was put in this situation for a reason.

Last weekend, I had the privilege to work with so many creative and unique individuals at the official FTEC 2015 photo shoot. It was a magical day. Not only was I loving acting as a model, getting my hair and makeup done and touched up ALL DAY LONG, but I enjoyed finally getting to know all the other brave souls who have signed up along side me for this opportunity of a lifetime. I have really come to realize that my first impressions of people (I know I shouldn't make quick judgements, but I do!) are VERY wrong.  This isn't a negative observation by any means but you learn a lot about someone when you're sitting in a green room with them for hours and hours compared to focused and training at the gym. Each fighter has something different to bring to the table and I truly feel like we are such an amazing team, even though we all have our opponents sitting right there next to us.
I was on such a high leaving the photo shoot and just wanted to hang out with every one, all the time! Hopefully my fellow fighters felt the same way about me... :)
Not only did I have the best time with the FTEC fight team, I was also amazed and blown away by the organization and support shown by all those that work behind the scenes of this event. If this photo shoot day is any indication as to how the fight night will roll out, everyone is in for a treat! I can't WAIT.

*Like 'Fight to End Cancer' on Facebook and check out behind the scenes photos and videos by clicking here.

I can hardly contain my excitement for the next few months but I don't want them to go by too fast either. I already feel depressed thinking about my life without this to look forward to- it's going to be such a bore! This entire experience has been an intense roller coaster ride and right now, I'm definitely on a high even with my slight set back during class yesterday morning with a minor back injury(from a burpee). I still feel great! My confidence is building after every class I attend and like I said in my last post- my focus is on point. I can identify what I need to work on and I can easily spot other people's strengths and weaknesses as well... this is crazy to me because 4 short months ago, I didn't even know how to throw a simple punch. Not to sound too cliche but you can ACTUALLY do anything you set your mind to!!

I hope you all have the best week and thank you for riding on this roller coaster with me!