"Life's not about how hard of a hit you can give...it's about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward." - Rocky
Thanks, Rocky for the words of encouragement. I needed them this week...not figuratively about life, but about literal, hard punches....
I showed up to the gym this week ready to gradually get back into the workouts post back injury. I could tell I was favouring my back a little bit through some of the exercises and despite feeling good, I didn't allow myself to stay for the second class of the night on Tuesday. I didn't want to push it (another major growth moment for me). I left that evening with my head held high. "Yes! I'm back" is what I thought to myself or maybe said out loud.
I then arrived at the gym on Thursday. I felt "off", not just at Kingsway, but throughout my entire day. My focus wasn't there and it was just one of those days when I could have just laid in bed under the covers and not speak to a single person for hours (am I the only one that has these days?).
Anyways, I obviously had to be a big girl and go to work and then race to the gym and soccer after....on Thursdays, I have no time to rest.
The traffic was terrible getting to the gym that evening (of course) and I arrived late. I did a quick round of skipping and jumped right into the ring. I immediately knew this was not going to end well. Mentally, at least for me, I can sense how I am going to perform, in anything that I do. I was right.
I was sparring against Shireen (a tough opponent) and I couldn't get my footwork down.. she was hitting me, A LOT and I swear I blinked and had a shot coming straight for my right cheek making full contact and sending my neck back, feeling intense whiplash. I stopped, turned around and burst into tears. It was a shock, it hurt and because of the emotional state I had been in that day, I kind of took that punch personally. Every one continued sparring around me and I felt like I was a little child standing in a 'time-out' in the corner of the ring. I thought to myself "why is no one coming to see how I'm doing?" and then I realized that Virgil was standing there, staring at me, letting me be, to see exactly what I would do next.... I walked back over to Shireen and with tears still streaming down my face, I continued fighting. I fully took advantage of our 2 minute water break and had a great cry in the bathroom, wiped away my tears, put my gloves back on and waited to be matched up against my next opponent. I felt proud of myself for this and slightly embarrassed but whatever, people cry so we can get over it, right? I think had I decided to stop fighting, then and there, I would have been terrified to step back into the ring at a later date.
Which brings me to Saturday...with conditioning class complete, I was waiting for the FTEC class to start at 10:30am. T.J told us to get our head gear, mouth guard and gloves on. I was definitely still scared but I suited up and my mental game was ON. I actually had a pep talk with myself prior to stepping into the ring and I've never felt better. I was defending, moving, landing punches and was able to absorb and put all the coaches suggestions into action. It was amazing! For the first time, everything felt natural to me. I no longer thought about every combination I was going to throw or which way I should slip to get out of the way of what punch might come next... I just knew, right then in the moment, what I was supposed to do. WHAT A REVELATION!
So, to wrap it up and make a long story short, I had the best and worst week. Now I know how it feels to have intense mood swings!
PS I received so many amazing donations this week to bring my fundraising total to over $4700! I am just over $1000 short of my goal! Thank you to everyone who donated! If you would like to help me fight to end cancer, please visit www.fighttoendcancer.ca .
PPS Our photoshoot pics were finally released this week and I LOVE them. If you haven't seen them, I added them below!
Love you all! :)